Star Wars Day: Building a Star Wars expansion franchise for the NBA

Tatooine Jedi Knights Star Wars NBA franchise – Bench: Darth Maul

An acrobatic wonder, Sith apprentice Darth Maul plays completely above the rim. Front flips, backflips, scissor kicks – it’s all in his repertoire. Refs are reluctant to call him for fouls due to his double-bladed lightsaber, and who can blame them?

His face tattoos are plenty menacing themselves, although they could get confusing when playing a team like Chicago with a red-and-black color scheme. He is great going back at players who score on him, even if it’s months later, dropping a gravelly “at last we shall have our revenge” prior to tip.

Tatooine Jedi Knights – Bench: Han Solo

Some players catch the ball and rotate it to the open teammate. Han Solo always assumes he is that open teammate, no matter how closely he is guarded. In any given game it’s safe to say “Han shot first” as he gets up his attempts.

The reality is that he is such a good marksman that his swaggering confidence is warranted. He and Chewbacca have incredible chemistry when Solo comes into the game, with Chewie’s picks freeing Han for jumpers from all over the court. He may not be the most willing defender, but he has never met a shot he doesn’t like.

Tatooine Jedi Knights – Bench: R2-D2

Sure, he’s small and doesn’t technically have arms. But his utility in certain lineups is elite. He can lay down oil slicks to slow down defenders, clear space with a flamethrower, and he has rocket jets in his legs that can quickly get him up to the rim. If he positions himself properly he could create a second backboard for his teammates. And while most opponents won’t understand it, his trash-talking is second to none.

Tatooine Jedi Knights – Bench: Rey

Growing up as an orphan on a desert planet has given Rey an inner steel that serves her well on the basketball court. While many Jedi never learn how to use long-range weapons and therefore are not experienced shooters, Rey can both tap into the Force and shoot from outside.

Tatooine Jedi Knights – Bench: General Grievous

What’s better than two arms on the basketball court? Four arms. Passing the ball past Grievous’ spinning limbs is nearly impossible, making him a deadly weapon when trapping players. His lungs are full of scar tissue, so he can only play in short stints, but when he does play he’s a turnover-forcing machine.

Tatooine Jedi Knights – Bench: Captain Phasma

While the vast majority of center minutes are covered by Chewbacca and Darth Vader, Captain Phasma is the team’s reserve big. She is downright terrifying to find inside when you drive the lane, and her lack of personal morals means she has no problem laying down a few flagrant fouls. Her chrome armor not only protects her from injury, it causes intense bruising after blindside screens.