Star Wars Day: Building a Star Wars expansion franchise for the NBA
Tatooine Jedi Knights Star Wars NBA franchise – Starting SF: The Mandalorian
Not every player on the team has to be personable and articulate; quiet and hidden behind a helmet works just fine too. Especially when you can set picks fully encased in beskar armor; you think Trae Young dies on screens now?
Din Djarin, as the Mandalorian goes by among friends, is a proven marksman, able to hit far away targets with a sniper rifle or a basketball. When defenders close out hard he can jet pack right over them and dunk the basketball, hanging on the rim and taunting them with a stoic “this is the way.”
On defense Mando has multiple tricks up his sleeve. He has quick reflexes that could generate steals, and in a pinch he can protect the paint by unleashing his flamethrower to clear out space. He may never be the charismatic leader of a team, but with this roster of strong personalities he can quietly fill his role and finally earn enough credits to repair his ship.
Tatooine Jedi Knights Star Wars NBA franchise – Starting PF: Darth Vader
Slow and methodical, there is no defender alive who can stop Darth Vader from making his way to the rim. He can back down opponents in the post, and help defenders coming to double him will be stopped in their tracks, gasping for breath and Vader nonchalantly Force chokes them. Against the rules? You have to prove it was him first.
Defensively he is a force inside, in large part because he used the Force to anticipate enemy plays and plant himself in the way. He motivates his teammates out of fear; no one wants to give a lackluster effort on defense and have to face Vader after the game.
His teams always find a way to win; in an early game, one teammate thought a 25-point second-half deficit was too big to overcome. Vader intoned “I find your lack of faith disturbing” and led the team back for an overtime victory. His trash-talking needs refinement; instead of yelling “Who’s your daddy?” when he dunks on an opponent, he has taken to saying “No, I am your father!” to the confusion of many.
Tatooine Jedi Knights Star Wars NBA franchise – Starting C: Chewbacca
The game of basketball is about placing a sphere into a circular rim suspended 10 feet off the ground. Being able to do that without leaving the ground gives you an inherent advantage, and it’s one the towering Chewbacca can use to score again and again inside. Defenders mostly let him, after hearing of his tendency to rip the limbs off of opposing players when he loses. “Let the Wookie Win” was advice that was quickly passed around the league.
The 7’5″ Wookie is an elite rim defender, with a wingspan just over 8′. The Jedi Knights employ a drop coverage, with Chewbacca keeping all takers away from the rim and forcing opponents into jump shots, which are easily altered by their many Force users. It’s a flawless approach to the league’s best defensive rating.