Clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you
-Stuck in the Middle with You, Stealers Wheel
Desert sand. It's dry, rough, irritating. Blisteringly hot with the sun directly overhead, chilling to the core beneath the moonlight. Sand is the indicator of an arid climate, and only the most resilient of wildlife can survive in the harsh conditions of the desert. The residents of Phoenix, Arizona, insist that a dry heat is tolerable, but their hometown Suns are shriveling under their intense star power.
I have an important question to ask of the Phoenix Suns, and forgive me as my voice syncs with that of The Strokes when I question: "Is this it?"
The roster under head coach Mike Budenholzer boasts three current or former All-Stars: Devin Booker, Kevin Durant, and Bradley Beal. On paper, a depth chart stuffed with stardom should be a sure-thing championship contender.
Yet Phoenix sits with a record of 21-21—good enough for 10th in the Western Conference. A .500 record, while perfectly balanced, is never the goal for a squad as loaded as a stuffed pepper. No, the city isn't throwing a parade over the state of their team. Great observation, dear reader.
The costliest roster in the entire National Basketball Association resides in the Grand Canyon State, and what does this team have to show for it? A ceiling reaching as high as a second-round playoff exit?
Like a stegosaurus caught in a tar pit, you can still feel the Suns' heartbeat, but there's no denying this team is dead. The meteor is en route to end the suffering. The aliens have the death beam pointed at the desert. Jusuf Nurkic tried climbing into an escape pod but was simply too large to force his bundle of limbs into the confined space.
If you see a man raving on the street corners of Phoenix, it may be time to start listening. The end is near.
The Phoenix Suns are stuck.
When the buzzer sounded on the Suns' 2022 NBA Finals run, the golden trophy was hand-delivered to the victorious Milwaukee Bucks. The trio of Chris Paul, Devin Booker, and DeAndre Ayton stepped off the court with an unkillable devastation, but renewed hope in what could be a formidable threat to the league for years to come.
Booker had emerged as an All-NBA level guard, Chris Paul's career resurgence fed families, and the former number-one pick DeAndre looked the part of a modern-day franchise center.
Snapping to the present, this paper-mache cruise liner was clearly not as sea-worthy as originally hoped. Dissolved into mush and spare strips, the championship team of yesterday has been strewn in ribbons. Despite the current team looking stronger on paper, the fruits of modern Phoenix are bitter, resentful, and confused.
Chris Paul is now the Yoda to Wembanyama's Skywalker. The ever-self-aware and self-proclaimed "DominAyton" now meanders the court with the floundering Trail Blazers.
New owner Matt Ishbia took flight almost immediately upon retaining possession of the team, dealing for the suddenly available Kevin Durant at the price of the team's draft future, blossoming young talents in Mikal Bridges and Cam Johnson.
Plenty of tweaks and deals shipped out their young core in exchange for a win-now philosophy. Here's the problem: they aren't winning now.
Many teams in the modern age will see a team's makeup and decide to pursue a championship with their current build or condemn the formula in favor of a total makeover. Win or lose, every team needs a plan. Here's the problem: the Suns have zero incentive to lose. Thanks to Ishbia's massive spending spree, the Suns won't retain any of their draft picks until 2031. Ouch.
Too many expensive contracts for too many washed-up stars leave the Suns with a hopeless dilemma. No cap room to make a move. No reason to gleefully ride out the weather with the current crew. Too talented to tank, and no future draft picks to hunt until 2031.
Without wins or a way out, Phoenix is stuck in the middle. Frankly, I don't see any choice but to surf this wave of mediocrity, unless interest arises for a worn-out Nurkic, a still-talented but unquestionably aging Durant, or the hefty premium attached to a mediocre Beal.
Is this team doomed to an arduous extinction, or can the Suns rise above the horizon as a new team once more? From this spot, it's hard to spot a brighter future in Phoenix.
You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
-Stuck In a Moment You Can't Get Out Of, U2