NBA players my girlfriend will admit are more attractive than me

Rudy Gobert and D'Angelo Russell of the Minnesota Timberwolves (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
Rudy Gobert and D'Angelo Russell of the Minnesota Timberwolves (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images) /
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Before you make fun of me for devoting hours of my time to writing what could be considered a self-slander, or an utter embarrassment to who I try to be as a man, let me explain something: I am very secure in my relationship and have been described as “if I was half as competent as I thought I was, I’d be the next Einstein.” Needless to say, acknowledging where I stand among the world’s best athletes is not the humbling or embarrassing experience that one might think it is.

I would also like to say that my doting girlfriend only watches basketball to appease me. Soccer and gymnastics are her preferred sports, and basketball would rank far down her list. We live in two separate worlds. I listen lovingly to her recount her day at work and what interests her, and then she does the same for me. She makes it very clear that she knows nothing about basketball and only feigns interest to make me happy. And I appreciate the effort over everything else.

Of the five players on this list, all but one are people I introduced her to. The other one, she managed to find herself on social media and whatnot, but without my influence, she would not have stumbled across these players. So, if you still think this should be embarrassing for me, the blame is pretty much all on me.

I would not call myself a “solid ten” by any means, but I don’t think of myself as unattractive. That being said, I am not a world-class athlete in tip-top shape like these guys are. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in decent shape, but I can readily admit that I do not stand up to these guys.

NBA Player #5: Jeremy Sochan – Forward, San Antonio Spurs

As the ninth overall pick from Baylor in the 2022 NBA Draft, it makes sense that Jeremy Sochan is on this list. I’m a huge fan of the San Antonio Spurs, so my girlfriend is acquainted with most of the players on the team.

Former Spur Dejounte Murray, in my mind, is a pretty good-looking guy, but the judge seems to think differently. Sochan’s appearance is a bit over the top, with the crazy dyed hair and tooth gap, but he makes #5 on the list “as long as he’s wearing glasses with undyed or bleached hair.”

At least she thinks being blonde is a good look. Much to her chagrin, Sochan does not play with glasses on, so when the Spurs play, she’s less preoccupied with Sochan and more preoccupied with her #1 pick, who shares the court with Sochan in the Spurs’ starting lineup.