Star Wars Day: Building a Star Wars expansion franchise for the NBA
A great NBA franchise needs to have a diverse collection of personnel. On the court, a team needs players with varied skill sets who can fill different roles; bigs, wings, guards, able to shoot and pass and guard and rotate. Off the court, a team needs offensive coaches, defensive coaches, scouts, decision-makers, logistics, etc. When looking for a variety of characters, there are few places better than the Star Wars universe.
From diminutive Jedi Masters to towering furred sidekicks, no two Star Wars characters are alike. There are feats of strength and speed, of anticipation and reflex, of plotting and execution. For every need that an NBA franchise has, Star Wars has someone to offer to meet that need in a unique way that could only come from a galaxy far, far away.
Do they play basketball in a galaxy far, far away? We build the ultimate NBA franchise featuring characters from the Star Wars universe
What if the Star Wars universe decided to leverage its diverse cast of characters to build its own NBA franchise from the ground up? The NBA would have to make adjustments to its rules and guidelines to take advantage of the lucrative expansion fee it could leverage from Jabba the Hutt, and the immense marketing possibilities.
It wouldn’t do for this Star Wars expansion team to play poorly, so they would need to bring their very best. To that end, who would be the best players to fill out an NBA roster? Who should coach the team, or run the personnel department? We have to find a spot for Baby Yoda, right?
We also need a team name. Tatooine is the quintessential Star Wars locale, the sight of Luke Skywalker standing on the hill watching the twin suns set as the score swells with emotion. It shows up in more movies than any other planet, and in both seasons of The Mandalorian. They have to be the home planet for this squad.
Similarly, while team names such as “Sith” or “Bounty Hunters” are appealing, and “Gungans” or “Romantic storylines from the prequels” bring nauseating memories to Star Wars fans, the “Jedi Knights” invoke athletic prowess and applied wisdom. Logos involving the lightsaber will utilize the most iconic symbol in all of Star Wars.
Therefore we have the Tatooine Jedi Knights, the first NBA expansion franchise outside of North America, let alone off-planet. Let’s begin building our roster, with the understanding that these characters are (1) taken out of various points in time in order to play in the league, and (2) are suspending their personal biases towards one another to maximize play on the court. Jedi and Sith coexisting on the same team is something like Duke and UNC players doing the same.
We begin with the starting lineup, five of these diverse players to make the perfect combination on the court. Then we will fill out the bench, and hire some coaches and team personnel. Cue the opening crawl!