NBA mascot power rankings, best past and present

27. Burnie: Miami Heat

Before getting into Burnie’s more serious issues, let’s talk about his design. Evidently, Burnie — an obvious pun referring to the Miami Heat’s team name — is an anthropomorphized ball of fire that has a basketball for a nose because, basketball.

If he is indeed a walking, talking ember, why does he have a basketball for a nose? Wouldn’t the ball melt instantly? What’s wrong with having two slits for a nose? Do the Heat believe that the fans wouldn’t know they were at a basketball game if they didn’t add that feature to the mascot? Also, are his clothes flame retardant? These are the questions that need to be asked!

As for Burnie’s performance as a mascot, that seems to be just as sketchy as his biological makeup and wardrobe. The mascot has been sued on several occasions for being a bit too aggressive with fans.

The first documented incident occurred during an exhibition game in Puerto Rico in 1994. During a break in the action, Burnie picked a woman from the crowd to dance with and dragged her by her feet. While resisting, she fell to the floor, which led to some minor injuries. Making matters worse, the woman turned out to be the wife of a federal judge.

She sued the team for minor injuries, lingering pain in her arm and back and “emotional distress due to humiliation” and was awarded $50,000. Lawsuits in 2015 and 2017 also follow the same pattern: Burnie pulls someone out for a dance routine and it results in injury. At the very least, the Heat should consider finding a mascot who doesn’t expose the organization to these risks.