Space Jam 2: 5 NBA players who should be Monstars

Shooting Guard: James Harden

Honorable Mentions: Dwyane Wade, Devin Booker, Victor Oladipo, CJ McCollum, Klay Thompson, Donovan Mitchell, Bradley Beal

Dwyane Wade seems like the inevitable answer right now, since he’s LeBron’s most famous friend in the league. He’s a household name, he’s comfortable on camera and he’s one of the greatest shooting guards in NBA history. Watching LeBron try to win his friend’s talents back makes sense from a narrative perspective too. No-brainer, right?

Not so fast. At this stage, Flash would be better suited for the aforementioned Larry Bird role, not only because he’s not a dominant player anymore, but also because the 2018-19 season will be his last. Filming doesn’t start until 2019. After Wade’s highly publicized farewell tour, how are we supposed to convince the youth of America that the Monstars are a formidable force if they go after the talents of a 37-year-old who just retired?

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Despite the number of great shooting guards in the league now, none of them has the right combination of on-screen presence and talent. Victor Oladipo and Donovan Mitchell haven’t been in the spotlight long enough yet. Klay Thompson is out since we can’t include too many Warriors. CJ McCollum and Bradley Beal don’t have the on-screen presence, even if McCollum is trying, Jennifer. A young star on the rise like Devin Booker would be fun, but his team sucks, so we go with the default.

James Harden is the best shooting guard in the NBA right now, and it’s not particularly close. We wanted to avoid including two players from the same team, but if we had gone with a Kyrie-Harden backcourt (or Curry-Harden) there’d be too many jokes about the Monstars’ defense, and every other shooting guard option alongside CP3 falls flat.

So even though that makes two Houston Rockets on the Monstars roster, we’re going to roll with it anyway. Why? Because not only is Harden the reigning MVP, a household name and a solid complement to this cast of personalities, but also because we’d be able to put a King Leonidas beard on a Monstar, and maybe even sneak in a flopping joke somewhere.

That alone should shut down any complaints about this selection.