The Boston Celtics’ big comeback in the free agency market

The Boston Celtics have had some unorthodox methods in their free agency recruiting. Using Tom Brady and Kelly Olynyk as secret weapons, Danny Ainge has found another way to stay ahead of the curve.

A recent survey conducted by ESPN revealed that the Boston Celtics have the best free agency pitch in basketball, according to 48 anonymously polled players. Twenty-seven percent of the surveyed players chose Boston, while 15 percent chose the Miami Heat, and 12 percent chose the Los Angeles Lakers.

I, for one, am flabbergasted. Need I remind you that Danny Ainge, through no fault of his own, landed a heaping helping of damn near nobody for over a decade of his tenure with Boston? This list, compiled by A. Sherrod Blakely of NBC Sports Boston, includes the 20 players who signed with the Celtics from 2003 (Ainge’s first year) to 2014.

Mike James (signed in 2003) and Jason Terry (2012) are the only players on the list to average more than 10 points with the Celtics (neither averaged more than 11). The most notable might be Eddie House, who was a valuable source of scoring in the 2008 title run.

The last two summers have washed away the suppressed memories of geriatric Shaquille O’Neal hobbling off the court and Tommy Heinsohn comparing Greg Stiemsma to Bill Russell. Before we celebrate the conditions that brought Al Horford and Gordon Hayward to Boston, we must humble ourselves by remembering a special little moment that’s lost among all the recent Celtics lore.

Behold, the weirdest moment in Celtics history:

The Celtics of Boston, the kings of title-town USA, brought Kelly Olynyk wearing tye-dye to the meeting with the second-best player on the planet, which was only marginally more questionable than including the blonde-mohawked Marcus Smart.

Miami and Los Angeles being popular free agent destinations is a no-brainer. History, Pat Riley, nice weather, nightlife, easygoing people and everything else. Boston is historic as well, but it’s also cold. The people are chummy, but angry. The Celtics have one championship in the past 32 years. Things are on the up-and-up now, but it’s amazing how one deep playoff run (and sweet, sweet cap space) can make Boston the premiere free agent destination.

What’s even weirder is that their best selling point isn’t necessarily related to basketball. One player was quoted in the article saying:

"“Boston [has the best],” an unnamed Eastern Conference guard told ESPN. “If you bring Tom Brady? That’s pretty damn cool.”"

Am I reading into this too much? Is it really the case that teams should be pitching all kinds of non-basketball related, but generally cool things into their free agency pitches?

“Welcome to New England! Here’s your complimentary bowl of chowder and a hand shake from Tom Brady himself.”

“Hey, come to Los Angeles. We’ll introduce you to Snoop Dogg, or whatever.”

“Come play for the HEAT. *Pat Riley slams a suitcase full of money on the table.* I’ve got a warehouse full of Cuban cigars with your name on it, and I’ll give you Pitbull’s phone number.”

You think I’m joking? Remember the T-shirts that the Clippers made in their pitch to keep Blake Griffin?

Next: 2017-18 Week 19 NBA Power Rankings

This is the future of free agency. Once again, Danny Ainge is ahead of the curve.