Washington Wizards: The team takes on Google Arts

Have you ever wondered which historical figures the starters of the Washington Wizards look like? Well thanks to Google Arts, that oddly specific dream can be a reality.

Google as a company has made some fantastic apps for mobile devices. Google Maps was a game-changer as well as Google Chrome (which, amazingly, lets you keep tabs open between devices). But Google’s newest mobile application, Google Arts, might be the most entertaining of them all, and it’s certainly gotten the attention of Twitter.

If you’re not familiar, the application allows the user to take a “selfie” of their face. It then takes that selfie and uses facial recognition software to compare your facial features to that of famous art from all of history.

But some people have been having fun seeing just what Google thinks of their face, and the software can easily be used to take pictures of anybody you can find on the internet.

This has caused media outlets like NBA on ESPN to have fun with the new software:

https://twitter.com/ESPNNBA/status/953359981767725056

Needless to say, there’s a lot of fun to be had with such an app. So I decided to see what the Washington Wizards‘ starting five looked like when their team head shot photos were used on the Google Arts & Culture application, and my findings were, well, interesting….

John Wall

Firstly, John Wall doesn’t wear glasses too often, but when he does, these are almost the EXACT pair he wears. Kudos to Google Arts & Culture for nailing that one.

Secondly, the facial hair and hair style is on point. It’s almost the exact trim of John Wall’s team photo. The most shocking part about this image is that it says it’s only a 57 percent match. This should be at least an 80 percent match or even higher considering how much it got right.

Bradley Beal

I’m sure this isn’t the first time this has happened, but the Google Arts & Culture application is throwing some serious shade at Bradley Beal’s skin. The amount of wrinkles on Beal’s image is straight rude for a player who’s not even 25.

The only similarity I can really see here is maybe the nose shape, but even that might be a stretch. The two things this image has taught me is that Google Arts & Culture’s percent match is very wrong and Google might not be a huge fan of Bradley Beal.

Otto Porter Jr.

The caption might say it all for this one. The mustache on both this image and Otto Porter Jr. dominates. The sideburns on the painting really make these two seem incredibly different. Sixty percent is way too high for this match. I’m beginning to think this software is heavily focused on eyebrow shape to make comparisons.

Markieff Morris

I’m not entirely sure how old this painting is, but it seems like the glasses shown in these images are popular nowadays. Maybe fashion really does go in cycles. This image helps my thesis that the Google Arts & Culture application is all about eyebrows and facial hair.

Markieff Morris has a bit of a cleaner beard, but maybe that’s just because he knew it was picture day. Other than that, they both have a very angry look on their faces. This one should be higher than 56 percent in my opinion.

Marcin Gortat

This one might prove my theory about facial hair wrong seeing as King Charles III (the guy in the painting) is as clean shaven as can be. For me, this match is entirely about skin tone and that rounder nose shape.

I would say almost 30 percent of this one is about the similarities in the nose. Just like Marcin Gortat, this piece at one point resided in Europe (Spain, to be precise), and other than that this one doesn’t have much in common.

Next: The 50 greatest NBA players of all time (updated, 2016-17)

Though not shown in this painting, King Charles III is wearing full body armor in this portrait, which I’m assuming would be as painful to run into as running into one of Gortat’s picks (this one was a stretch).