Kirilenko Receives Model AK-47, RBF Presidency in Same Week

While it’s infinitely more fun to imagine Andrei Kirilenko spending his retirement reading Nihilist literature while sipping the kind of vodka that doubles as paint thinner in a pinch, it seems the former Utah Jazz standout is putting his free time into more civically productive enterprises.

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Per the Associated Press:

"Former NBA player Andrei Kirilenko was elected president of the troubled Russian Basketball Federation on Tuesday.The ex-Utah Jazz and Brooklyn Nets small forward, who spent 13 seasons in the NBA, was elected unopposed at a conference Tuesday in Moscow — hours after his only rival, Russian national team general manager Dmitry Domani, withdrew from the contest."

Kirilenko has long been one of the NBA’s more interesting characters, pairing his unorthodox, pterodactyl-armed game on the court with a post-modern haircut, affinity for World of Warcraft and perhaps the strangest (only?) full back piece tattoo the league has ever seen.

After spending his teen years wreaking his unique brand of multi-faceted havoc as a member of CSKA Moscow, Kirilenko made his Utah debut in 2001, where he spent ten seasons before eventually playing one year in Minnesota and two in Brooklyn.  Finally, earlier this off season, reports had Kirilenko leaning toward hanging up his sneakers after averaging only five minutes per game in only seven appearances in 2014-15.

At his peak, Kirilenko was an absolute monster defensively, swallowing up perimeter scorers with his obscene length and quietly patrolling the weak side of the paint like a Russian Slender Man. His timely shot blocking and uncanny ability to extend his wiry reach into any and all passing lanes within shouting distance made him one of the rarer defensive assets in recent memory. Offensively, Kirilenko never cracked 17 points per game, but there were typically at least two instances per game in which AK-47 would confirm that he was, in fact, operating on a higher level of consciousness. Kirilenko’s court vision and creativity allowed him to routinely set up teammates with lightning quick no-look passes, the purity and beauty of which would often not even breach the viewer’s blood-brain barrier until a possession or two later.

Though Kirilenko might be best remembered for being on the wrong end of Baron Davis’ crowning playoff moment, his selfless, jack-of-all-trades game and gentle locker room demeanor made him a team and fan favorite. Though too often shackled to the small forward position instead of having his terrifying potential unlocked as a small-ball power forward (eons before the term transformed into cringe-worthy cliché), Kirilenko still always seemed to find ways to unleash his game-changing versatility, even under the rigid, fundamentalist stoicism of coach Jerry Sloan.

Now, Kirilenko returns to a tumultuous Russian basketball program rife with discord and protracted legal battles that have gotten so out of hand, the results of the federation’s last election were ultimately deemed null and void. Earlier this summer, Yahoo! Sports (via AFP) reported that Russian national teams had been banned from all international competitions by FIBA until the federation straightened out its internal conflicts. However, the ban was lifted, in part, not two weeks after the initial ruling, allowing the Men’s team to compete at the European Championships for an opportunity to qualify for Olympic competition in 2016.

For his part, Kirilenko seems keen on ensuring that the RBF mends both its international reputation and relationship with FIBA, per The AP:

"The former NBA All-Star — who only retired from playing in June — ran as a unity candidate and reformer, telling delegates “you are all my team” and pledging to confront “the very deep crisis of trust” in Russian basketball.[…]“It’s really important to spend time on preparation, so that there is the most positive possible atmosphere in the 10 days that are left until the European Championship,” Kirilenko said. “We really don’t want our players to have any problems with their preparation.”[…]In the longer term, Kirilenko said his priority as president would be to attract more youngsters to basketball, which Kirilenko said has been losing fans rapidly in Russia"

Sounds earnest enough. But just in case anyone gets any ideas about derailing Kirilenko’s noble quest to return Russian basketball to respectability:

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