Top 5 Christmas Wishes For The New York Knicks

Nov 19, 2014; Minneapolis, MN, USA; New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony (7) looks to pass the ball around Minnesota Timberwolves guard Corey Brewer (13) in the second half at Target Center. The Timberwolves won 115-99. Mandatory Credit: Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports
Nov 19, 2014; Minneapolis, MN, USA; New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony (7) looks to pass the ball around Minnesota Timberwolves guard Corey Brewer (13) in the second half at Target Center. The Timberwolves won 115-99. Mandatory Credit: Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports /
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My Christmas Wishes For The New York Knicks

It’s Christmas Eve, and the New York Knicks already have 25 losses on the season. They could use a Christmas wish or two.

The Knicks have all but eliminated themselves from the playoffs and are one of the most unwatchable teams in the league.

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Because they’ve been so bad, it’s time I send a few of my Christmas wishes at the Knicks! Most of my Christmas wishes are going to ending atrocities like war, famine, and getting an Xbox One from Santa, but I think can spare a few wishes for my second-favorite basketball team.

Here are my five Christmas wishes for the New York Knicks and their players:

5. To Carmelo Anthony, I Wish A Team Not Full of Chumps

Everyone on the Knicks isn’t a chump, but throughout his entire time in NYC, Anthony has played with guys like J.R. Smith, Kenyon Martin, Metta World Peace, Raymond Felton, Andrea Bargnani, Amar’e Stoudamire. Those guys aren’t going to help Anthony lead the Knicks anywhere.

It’s partially Anthony’s fault because he forced his way to the Knicks and made them give up all their players, like Danillo Gallinari, Wilson Chandler, Timofey Mozgov, and the first-round draft pick.

Phil Jackson needs to build a team around Anthony that’s actually capable of winning. As their 5-25 record indicates, this team is the opposite of good.

4. To Iman Shumpert, I Wish A Team Without Jose Calderon

Jose Calderon missed the first 12 games of the season, and in those games, Shumpert scored more than ten points in nine of those 12 games.

In the 12 games Shumpert played with Calderon before Shump dislocated his shoulder, Shumpert only scored ten or more points in two of those game.

Shumpert remains out indefinitely, but hopefully he will return to a Calderon-less team when he does, even if it’s not the Knicks.

3. To Amar’e Stoudemire, I Wish A Time Machine Back to 2008

Amar’e Stoudemire is actually playing pretty well this season, other than his terrible pick-and-roll defense. He’s averaging 13.4 points and 7.4 rebounds in 26.6 minutes per game. And, it’s only a reminder of the great player Stoudemire used to be.

Oh, to be young…

2. To Samuel Dalembert, Shane Larkin, and Jose Calderon, I Wish Them A Shot To Be On The Dallas Mavericks 

This summer, the New York Knicks traded Tyson Chandler and Raymond Felton for Samuel Dalembert, Shane Larkin, and Jose Calderon. I can personally guarantee Larkin, Dalembert, and Calderon wish they were still on the Dallas Mavericks, especially with the Mavs’ latest addition, Rajon Rondo.

Sure, the playing time wouldn’t be what it is with the Knicks. But, the Knicks are the most painful situation in all of sports right now. Who wouldn’t want to play for the Mavs right now?

1. To Cole Aldrich, I Wish Two Front Teeth 

Mar 13, 2013; Sacramento, CA, USA; Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah (13) and Sacramento Kings center Cole Aldrich (45) fight for position under the basket during the second quarter at Power Balance Pavilion. The Sacramento Kings defeated the Chicago Bulls 121-79. Mandatory Credit: Ed Szczepanski-USA TODAY Sports
Mar 13, 2013; Sacramento, CA, USA; Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah (13) and Sacramento Kings center Cole Aldrich (45) fight for position under the basket during the second quarter at Power Balance Pavilion. The Sacramento Kings defeated the Chicago Bulls 121-79. Mandatory Credit: Ed Szczepanski-USA TODAY Sports /

Aldrich appeared to have fixed his teeth prior to the season, but way back when he was at Kansas and during his first few seasons in the NBA, Aldrich was rocking one front tooth.

Those big guys really got watch for those elbows!

Hopefully, for the rest of the season, Aldrich can avoid those elbows and hang on to those (fake) teeth!

Merry Knickmas, everyone!

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