Disclaimer: I sincerely apologize to Pelican fans searching for actual basketball analysis today.
For those of you that are unaware, the New Orleans Pelicans boasted perhaps the scariest looking mascot in the NBA. His name is Pierre the Pelican, and for most of the season he was leading the league in inducing nightmares. He had a plastic, clown-like face with an overbearing red beak. This version of Pierre was made to make kids tremble, not engaged.
By the time February had rolled around, the Pelicans had realized the mistake they made with the look of Pierre’s face. In order to restructure his look, the team staged an injury for poor Pierre and he was put into surgery immediately.
Luckily for us all, the surgery went well. The new and improved Pierre proved to be much more kid friendly and actually somewhat resembled what a Pelican looks like. Gone were the nightmares that had plagued Pelicans fans because of a mascot that looked like it belonged next to a Chucky doll and not on a basketball court.
Take a look at @PierreTPelican's full road to recovery: http://t.co/N6UovuLEY9 | pic.twitter.com/XIzLW3BqWC
— New Orleans Pelicans (@PelicansNBA) February 13, 2014
Pierre was among friends when he woke up from his traumatic plastic surgery. He had acquired a personable, yellow beak and cartoonish eyes that did not seem to be looking deep into your soul. These are all positives as Pierre ventures down the road of mascot superstardom.
Just as we all thought the Pelicans had realized their poor choice in mascot image, they came out with a supposedly festive creature branded: King Cake Baby.
Having a hard time sleeping. Can you blame me? #KingCakeBaby pic.twitter.com/6s22Vvv813
— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) February 25, 2014
I mean … if you weren’t already having nightmares because of Version One Pierre, this little (guy?) should do the trick.
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His eyes pop wide open, creating an uncomfortable feeling for any fan that happens to catch his eye. The piercing blue color does not help matters either. His mouth, equally narrow as it is frightening, does not showcase a friendly vibe for a potential picture with children around the arena.
Finally, I must point to the crown that sits so perpendicular atop his menacing noggin. Immediately as I noticed the crown, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the infamous King Candy from the movie Wreck It Ralph. It would not surprise me if there was a parallel between King Cake Baby and King Candy.
KCB was created as a celebration of the Mardi Gras festivities that take place in New Orleans. The hope (at least I assume) was that fans would embrace the presence of KCB and maybe even get their Mardi Gras freak on with him. It was unclear if he actually got the party started, or weeded the party out. My educated guess would be that the latter is true.
After their record-breaking season of creating nightmares (not an actual stat), the Pelicans surely have to take a step back and realize that they cannot put their fans through that kind of torture again. The dynamic duo of Version One Pierre and King Cake Baby will be unmatched in NBA history.
We were all witnesses to history. And not in the cool Lebron James kind of way, but in the grotesque King Cake Baby way.