John Wall reached out for help in his darkest hour, and you should too

Opening up about the most grueling moments of one’s life can sometimes be as difficult as experiencing them. Though it’s been chipped away steadily over time, our society upholds an outdated stigma regarding men’s mental health — particularly for Black men. This is what makes the recent Players Tribune piece from NBA star John Wall so deeply moving.

This story, written in the first person by the Los Angeles Clippers point guard, details the dreadful battle that Wall overcame while sidelined due to injuries and contractual disputes in recent years. In the piece entitled ‘I’m Still Here,’ the former No. 1 pick discusses his journey navigating suicidal thoughts and depression as back-to-back injuries coincided with his mother, Frances Pulley, passing away from cancer.

The piece serves as an homage to Pulley, who defied the odds and raised her children through the perseverance of her own work ethic and an endless commitment to helping them grow into the best versions of themselves. She passed away in December of 2019 when Wall was dealing with an Achilles tendon injury and subsequent infection that threatened his future in the NBA. Without his mother, who he considered his best friend, and the game he loved — his ultimate coping mechanism — Wall fell into a deep depression.

Wall plainly discussed that he considered suicide, but his role as a father and dream of being as impactful of a parent as his mother propelled him to seek help.

John Wall survived his darkest hour and you will too. Just don’t give up.

I’m going to take after Wall and write directly to you, the reader. Have you ever felt like giving up in the same way Wall expressed in his story? I have, and it’s not an easy feeling to overcome. Life is overwhelming and depression comes in waves. One day things could feel great, the next it can all come crashing down. Depression can seep into anyone’s life. Wall gave us a great example of that — it didn’t matter that he was a multi-millionaire with fame and status.

So what can we learn from the message that John Wall shared? To me, it’s twofold. First off, check in on your people. It doesn’t matter if they’re up, down or riding the wave somewhere in between, don’t let the invisible barrier of that ridiculous stigma stop you from telling the people you love that you’re there for them and are willing to listen when they need you.

In the piece, Wall describes the day he learned that his mom entered a coma. In his moment of distress, Bradley Beal joined him in a destroyed hotel room and sat in silence. They didn’t speak, because there was nothing to really say, but having someone else there in moments of such immense despair goes a long way.

"“I think he knew there was nothing even to say, so he came down to my room and just sat with me. He was there for me during the hardest moment of my life.”"

The second lesson that we can learn? Don’t let your pride or misapprehension get in the way of seeking help. Depression can play tricks on you, making you think that there’s nowhere to turn and no one cares. But the fact of the matter is that’s not true. Everyone has someone to turn to, and there is nothing wrong with seeking help from a professional.

The following excerpt is going to be relatable for a lot of people. Sometimes, it feels like the things you’ve experienced in your life will shape who you are and how you live. But remember: you’re in control of your own mind, not the other way around. Don’t let where you come from or what you’ve been through keep you from getting where you belong:

"Being a dog, being unbreakable, always having that chip on your shoulder — hey, I get it. I’ve been that guy. But the day is going to come when you can’t do it on your own. And you gotta be strong enough on that day to ask for help.Listen, y’all know me. Y’all know how I carry myself, and what I stand for. If I can tuck my pride and admit that I’m not good, then can’t nobody tell you nothing. I still talk to my therapist to this day, and I’m still unpacking a lot of the crazy sh*t that I’ve been through. I’m never going to stop doing it, because I really don’t know when the darkness could come back."

Thank you to John Wall, and all of the athletes before him, for helping to eliminate the stigma around mental health and the conversation surrounding it. If you are suffering from depressive and/or suicidal thoughts, you can speak to someone 24 hours a day, seven days a week by calling 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

If you don’t feel comfortable calling the line, please don’t suffer in silence. Call a loved one and let them know that you need their help. You deserve it.