It’s Not You, It’s Me: A Houston Rockets Love Story

Dwight Howard is on the way out, leaving behind him a confusing few years as a member of the Houston Rockets and a pairing with James Harden that never quite worked out.

Relationships are a funny thing. For most of us, they start off simple enough: a hello, maybe a shaking of hands. Then comes that part when you’re getting to know the other person, things look bright, and you start making plans for the future.

All relationships eventually hit some pretty tough challenges though. Some of us overcome those obstacles, grow stronger, and make the relationship work. Other times, you get the feeling that things just weren’t meant to be.

Relationships can only end one of two ways, and when they go bad, it isn’t pretty. This past week, Dwight Howard decided to sign with the Atlanta Hawks, signaling a final divorce between himself, the Houston Rockets and, more specifically, James Harden.

What started out so promising just three years ago has ended like so many relationships, without much to show for it except a lot of arguments. But how did it come to this?

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Three years ago, Dwight Howard was coming off a turbulent time playing with the Los Angeles Lakers. His team had just been embarrassed by the San Antonio Spurs, who had swept them out of the 2013 NBA Playoffs in the first round.

Howard managed to get himself thrown out of the final game after scowling at Tim Duncan through most of the playoffs.

Duncan, for his part, had just grinned back at Dwight en route to the sweep, and in the process, gave birth to one of the most infamously hilarious “Deal With It” memes of the year (Duncan wearing cool shades, look it up).

It was an embarrassing end to a year in which the Lakers suffered through an almost endless string of injuries, including blows to a rapidly deteriorating Steve Nash, and a Kobe Bryant that was far past his prime and unable to compete when the playoffs rolled around.

It hadn’t helped that rumors had swirled around the Kobe-Dwight relationship all year. Dwight was a laid-back player; Kobe was as far from that as the moon is from the sun.

Still, Dwight ended the season at the prime age of 27, the golden years of a big man, and he had a new suitor in his life. It was 2013, and from the city of Houston, shooting guard phenomenon James Harden was calling. It seemed like a match made in heaven.

Just the previous year, James Harden had packed his bags and left the Oklahoma City Thunder for the Houston Rockets. He had his own tumultuous relationship he was ending back in OKC.

Harden was actually the first player to be drafted by the Thunder in its history after the team’s move from Seattle.

Although in his first year he only averaged a hair less than 10 points per game, by 2012 he was dropping almost 17 every night, was named the NBA Sixth Man of the Year, and boasted an ungodly true shooting percentage of 66 percent.

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He’d made the NBA playoffs every year with OKC alongside teammates Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook, and it was obvious to anyone watching that Harden still hadn’t reached his ceiling.

Of course, as a player improves, he wants more time in the spotlight, and more money. That was impossible in OKC, where Durant was the scoring phenom and Russell Westbrook was the flawed but preternaturally athletic point guard.

It seemed impossible for all three to get an equal share of the pie, and Harden’s on the record saying he wanted more money since he was making the sacrifice of coming off the bench.

So, in 2013, two players carrying their own baggage and desire to be “the guy” met in Houston to begin one of the NBA’s most baffling relationships in its storied history. Both had work ethics that were continuously questioned.

Howard was still carrying the reputation Bryant had pinned on him during his time with the Lakers. Behind the scenes reports came out about a fight that nearly broke out between the two of them when Bryant lobbed accusations that Howard was soft.

Bryant had already said during Howard’s time with the Lakers that Howard had to play tougher and play through his injuries. Dwight’s time in Houston was marked by even more injuries that kept him out through large parts of the season.

James Harden, meanwhile, had quickly created a reputation in Houston for partying too much. Harden was spotted plenty of times at clubs throughout the nation, partying with rappers and singers.

Stories even came out during the 2016 campaign that the Thunder had been willing to let Harden go because he was partying too hard in Oklahoma City of all places.

Two flawed players can still equal success though. Michael Jordan’s gambling issues and Dennis Rodman’s obsession for making himself a pop cultural icon never came between them and a championship.

Kobe Bryant’s alpha dog mentality and Shaquille O’Neal’s desire to be the main guy for the Lakers still led them to three rings. The truth is, winning paves over a lot of bumps.

So, the year Howard arrived in Houston and the team went from 45 wins to 54? That was the beautiful, open stages of the relationship when everything was going right. 2014-2015, when they won two more games to go 56 and 26, then only fell in the playoffs to eventual champions, the Golden State Warriors, during the Western Conference Finals?

That was the crest of the relationship, when everything was still fantastic and the future was bright, even if you could see a few flaws in the relationship.

And 2015-16 was more like what happens when your significant other reads text messages on your phone that you know you shouldn’t have been sending. Everything blew up, and it happened so fast, it literally blitzed the city of Houston.

The team opened the season by winning only four of its first 11 games, leading to the firing of coach Kevin McHale. He was replaced by assistant J.B. Bickerstaff, who was arguably worse, but only arguably.

It’s arguable because nobody can really be sure whether any coaching changes could have saved the Rockets this past season. Most of the big names were back, guys like Patrick Beverley, Corey Brewer, and Jason Terry, not to mention Harden and Howard themselves.

Despite their roster, the Rockets only won 41 games and only managed to clinch a spot in the playoffs by winning their final game of the season.

Dwight played decently through the year, but not for the amount the Rockets were paying him. Rumors sprung up that he disliked the style of ball being played, that he wanted to be more central to the offense, and that he felt disrespected by James Harden.

Meanwhile, the Rockets simply didn’t seem as if they cared about playing defense, and that started with team leader, James Harden, whose defense has been, to put it mildly, “criticized” by NBA observers to the point that there are compilations of his defensive efforts circulating on YouTube.

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Shortly after McHale’s firing,

went on

record

as saying the team wasn’t playing hard enough. It was true, and it never changed. Like all relationships gone bad though, it was the a buildup of all the small things that led to the final implosion.

Dwight’s 2014-15 season was plagued with injuries and he missed nearly half the season. Although he played the entire 2015-16 campaign, by then he seemed disinterested.

Harden’s stats actually didn’t change much.

His field goal percentage, 3-point percentage, steals and assists all remained pretty solid from one season to the next, and he was still capable of demonstrating Curry-esque outbreaks of offensive prowess. It was his effort on defense that remained the liability.

And that’s what we come back to, in relationships and in sports: the effort you put in. So much in basketball goes beyond just the raw stats. To make it on a team, you have to put the arguments and the bad behaviors away, and really try and make things work. Leaders have to lead.

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They have to work together. They have to inspire the players around them. When they don’t put in the effort to make it work with each other, everything falls apart. Just like a bad relationship.