The NBA Power Rankings are out for the week ending December 19th, 2012. We have a lot of competition this week, mostly at the bottom. The Kings, Pistons, Bobcats, Cavs, Hornets and Wizards went a combined 0-23 this week. Is that good?
This week’s theme is the end of the world! If the Mayans were correct, this will be our last set of power rankings. We’re going to pick one player from each team to help us save the world. We’re not going down without a fight!
Each Wednesday we release a new set of power rankings with a new theme. Hope you enjoy them.
Who do you think should be on top? Let us know in the comment section below!
1. (1) Oklahoma City Thunder (20-4) – Serge Ibaka‘s such a good defender, you’d think he could stop the world from ending, right?
2. (5) Los Angeles Clippers (18-6) – Lamar Odom‘s could recruit the Kardashians, and we know they’re annoying enough to get anyone to go away.
3. (3) New York Knicks (18-6) – Pretty sure Kurt Thomas heard directly from the Mayans about the prophecy. He could mediate for us.
4. (4) Memphis Grizzlies (16-6) – No brainer here: Zach Randolph is surly and we’ll take his side in any fight.
5. (2) San Antonio Spurs (19-8) – Of course we’ll take Tim Duncan. He’s so smart he probably taught himself different war strategies for fun.
6. (6) Golden State Warriors (17-8) – We’ll need a deadeye shooter who can fire quickly. Stephen Curry is definitely that guy.
7. (7) Miami Heat (16-6) – One of the finest male specimens on our planet is LeBron James. Although, Chris Bosh did survive the dinosaur extinction…
8. (8) Atlanta Hawks (15-7) – The popular choice is Josh Smith for his multi-faceted defense, but we’re going with Louis Willams, because he’ll fire at anything.
9. (9) Denver Nuggets (14-12) – We should take George Karl because he beat cancer. For players, give us JaVale McGee. We’re pretty sure he’s not from this planet, anyways.
10. (10) Chicago Bulls (14-10) – We need someone well-versed in worldly matters. Give us Luol Deng and we’ll get more of the world behind us.
11. (14) Milwaukee Bucks (13-10) – Monta Ellis is lightning quick and has a great ability to finish. That will come in handy in big battles.
12. (11) Brooklyn Nets (13-11) – In case we need a good actor to play dead, we should grab Reggie Evans. He could flop and buy us a little time.
13. (16) Minnesota Timberwolves (12-11) – Nikola Pekovic is one of the toughest guys in the league and looks like a James Bond villain. He’ll work.
14. (15) Utah Jazz (14-12) – If this is really going down, we need an irrational trash talker on the team. Since Sam Cassell is retired, give us Mo Williams.
15. (18) Indiana Pacers (13-12) – Paul George has basically saved the Pacers’ season so far. He might as well save the world, too.
16. (19) Houston Rockets (12-12) – Although Jeremy Lin would rally the Asian community, we could use James Harden‘s beard as a hiding spot.
17. (12) Boston Celtics (12-12) – Since Rajon Rondo is probably rooting for the end of the world, we’ll go with Kevin Garnett. His intensity would be welcome.
18. (13) Philadelphia 76ers (12-13) – Have you seen Spencer Hawes‘ mullet and facial hair lately? Our opponent might decide they don’t really want this place after all.
19. (21) Orlando Magic (11-13) – Maybe a magician would help. Jacque Vaughn could make the Earth disappear. Otherwise give us Glen Davis. We’ll need someone for Garnett to make fun of.
20. (20) Los Angeles Lakers (12-14) – Kobe Bryant could really help, but we want Steve Nash. Give us someone who will make those around him better.
21. (17) Dallas Mavericks (12-13) – Dirk Nowitzki voluntarily sings David Hasselhoff to himself. He can withstand any torture.
22. (22) Portland Trail Blazers (11-12) – We need someone under the radar who can save us when we least expect it. LaMarcus Aldridge it is.
23. (26) Phoenix Suns (10-15) – Michael Beasley would confuse the hell out of our opponents, just like he confuses the hell out of us every night.
24. (29) Toronto Raptors (7-19) – The Toronto fans have been calling for Andrea Bargnani‘s head for a while. They deserve this one.
25. (23) Sacramento Kings (7-17) – DeMarcus Cousins doesn’t play well with others. He seems to holding a lot of anger as well. Time to let it out.
26. (24) Detroit Pistons (7-20) – Greg Monroe needs a place to shine. Being a part of this team and saving us will get him the credit he deserves.
27. (25) Charlotte Bobcats (7-17) – Although he only does it sporadically, Ben Gordon could show up and rip our opponents a new one. Then he’d disappear again.
28. (27) Cleveland Cavaliers (5-21) – No other choice than Kyrie Irving right now. He’s already wearing some armor on his face.
29. (28) New Orleans Hornets (5-19) – Robin Lopez and Anthony Davis would provide the ugly factor for us, but we’ll take Greivis Vasquez to reward him for a breakout year.
30. (30) Washington Wizards (3-19) - Those in D.C. might want to use the whole team as a human shield, but we’ll take John Wall. He can dougie the opponent to death.
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