The NBA will begin placing advertisements on jerseys in 2017-18. What is the best ad for every NBA team?
Adam Silver and the owners are executing a change that could forever alter the way we look at the NBA. In a shocking development, the long rumored placement of corporate advertisements on in-game jerseys is no longer just a vision.
It’s only a, “Pilot program,” but the NBA will test the waters on the use of advertisements on jerseys in 2017-18. Per Darren Rovell of ESPN:
"“It’s my hope, independent of whatever additional revenues are generated through this patch program, that the greatest impact will be in this amplifying effect of companies choosing to associate directly with a team jersey, then going out and promoting that relationship to the largest market,” NBA commissioner Adam Silver said."
Not everyone has taken kindly to this news.
The good news for fans is that advertisements will not appear on the jerseys available for purchase. Instead, they’ll only appear on those worn by the players during games, thus following in the footsteps of many European basketball teams.
Per Rovell, the ads are expected to generate roughly $100 million in revenue for the NBA—a small number in comparison to the $7 billion revenue Silver projected for the 2017-18 season.
Regardless of how you may feel about this news, it’s going to happen. Thus, one must ask and answer the most important question of all.
Which advertisements would best fit the 30 NBA teams?
Next: Atlanta Hawks
Atlanta Hawks: Coca Cola
The Atlanta Hawks are the antithesis of what the NBA would like them to be. Gone are the days of the high-flying Hawks teams that made nightly appearances on news reels and television programs, and present is a squad that relies on team defense and ball movement.
One could easily make the case for a company that’s all about synergy or protection, but it’d be silly for Atlanta not to use Coca Cola as its corporate logo.
Coca Cola is one of the biggest companies in the world, which makes it an automatic candidate to find its way onto a jersey. Coca Cola is also based in Atlanta, Georgia, which is quite the reason to appear on the local team’s uniform.
If nothing else, this promotional opportunity would help the Hawks drive ticket sales.
Other options exist for Atlanta, and they vary from fitting the team to NSFW. Coca Cola is a global giant of a company, however, and for a team that ranked No. 23 in percentage of seats filled per game in 2015-16, this partnership would be mutually beneficial.
Now on to the fun ones.
Next: Boston Celtics
Boston Celtics: Draft Kings
The Boston Celtics are amongst the most decorated organizations in the history of professional sports. Boston has won an all-time record 17 NBA championships, with a remarkable 21 total appearances in the NBA Finals.
One look at the 2016 NBA Draft should explain why Draft Kings is Boston’s ideal corporate sponsor.
In the first round, the Celtics own picks No. 3—which is subject to change via the Draft Lottery—No. 16, and No. 22. In Round 2, the Celtics will pick at No. 31, No. 35, No. 45, No. 52, and No. 58 overall.
In other words, the Celtics will have three of the Top 22 picks, five of the first 35 selections, and eight overall opportunities to find a gifted rookie in the 2016 NBA Draft.
Having three first-round picks is shocking enough, but having eight selections over the course of two rounds is downright absurd. Boston has already built a roster with remarkable depth, but Danny Ainge’s work in compiling assets is nothing short of astonishing.
There’s no telling how the Celtics will utilize the selections, but for now, they’re the unquestionable Draft Kings.
Next: Brooklyn Nets
Brooklyn Nets: Roc Nation
The Brooklyn Nets made a monumental move from New Jersey to a rising New York City borough in 2012. Despite his minority ownership in the organization, the general consensus is that no person was more instrumental in that move than Jay Z.
Thus, it’s only rational to place Roc Nation on the Nets’ uniforms—you know, if we’re to acknowledge that it’d never happen.
Jay Z, a Brooklyn native, helped Roc-A-Fella Records become a genuine powerhouse in the world of hip hop. A fallout between the founders and owners, namely Jay Z and Damon Dash, led to the collapse of the label.
In 2008, Jay Z stormed back onto the scene with Roc Nation—a label with headquarters in three major cities, including New York.
The hurdle to this actually coming to fruition is the fact that Roc Nation is more than just a record label; its a sports agency. A number of NBA players fall under that umbrella, including former league MVP Kevin Durant and Miami Heat rookie Justise Winslow.
Conflict of interest aside, it’s hard to pick a better logo for the Nets’ uniforms than Roc Nation. Maybe Jersey Boys?
Next: Charlotte Hornets
Charlotte Hornets: Air Jordan or Crying Jordan?
The Charlotte Hornets have been a resurgent group in 2015-16. After years of inconsistency and general inferiority, Charlotte went 48-34 to commandingly and safely secure a postseason berth.
That success has saved the Hornets by making their logo, “Air Jordan,” instead of, “Crying Jordan.”
Michael Jordan is the owner of the Hornets, and any advertisement should be associated with him. He’s the owner of an NBA team, is widely regarded as the best player of all-time, and is the face of one of the biggest sports apparel companies in the world.
Per Darren Rovell of ESPN, 29 NBA teams will have the Nike logo, but the Hornets are expected to have the Jumpman on their jerseys.
"Silver said Friday that the Nike swoosh will appear on every jersey for 29 of the league’s teams, but that the Charlotte Hornets will likely have the logo of the Nike-owned subsidiary Brand Jordan because the team is owned by Michael Jordan."
That works out as it should, then.
If Charlotte doesn’t advertise Jordan, it’d be a move deserving of the Crying Jordan Meme. The logical advertisement is the one that’s most easily accessible, and one that would actually look great on Charlotte’s jerseys.
There’s nothing funny about this one; it’s simply the logical decision.
Next: Chicago Bulls
Chicago Bulls: Air Jordan
Again? Obviously.
The Chicago Bulls share a logo with the Charlotte Hornets for very obvious reasons. Not only is Air Jordan synonymous with the greatest player in franchise history, but it’s a symbol of the only era during which Chicago won a championship.
If Michael Jordan isn’t a part of the ad on the Bulls’ jersey, they’re doing it wrong.
Jordan won six championships and six Finals MVP awards as the leader of the once vaunted Bulls. For perspective, Chicago has won a grand total of zero championships with zero Finals MVP awards and zero NBA Finals appearances in the seasons played without Jordan.
That’s quite significant when one considers the fact that the Bulls have been in existence since 1966.
With 50 years of existence, and six titles from one era to show for it, it stands to reason that the greatest player in franchise history should be honored. It’s much easier to do so when one considers how massive a company Air Jordan has become.
Putting the Jumpman on a Bulls uniform would only be appropriate.
Next: Cleveland Cavaliers
Cleveland Cavaliers: King’s Hawaiian Rolls
Don’t say Rogaine, don’t say Rogaine, don’t say Rogaine.
Forgive me for being considerate, but I can’t bring myself to selecting this advertisement based on another man’s hairline. LeBron James is a polarizing figure, but not even that reality can bring me to actually select Rogaine for this advertisement.
Instead, we go with King’s Hawaiian Rolls.
Much like James, who has been anointed King James, King’s Hawaiian Rolls are always a win with other examples of greatness. For instance, there are few sandwiches better than a King’s Hawaiian Roll filled with pulled pork or brisket.
King’s Hawaiian Rolls are still great on their own, but they aren’t quite as revered as individual products as they are as the foundation for greatness with other factors included.
James is criticized for the same; to this day, he’s accused of not being able to win without other superstars. Despite being a proven postseason performer with two improbable NBA Finals runs and performances—2007 and 2015—the narrative exists.
Just as King’s Hawaiian Rolls are delicious on their own, James has objectively proven to be a great individual, as well. That damn narrative just won’t go away.
Next: Dallas Mavericks
Dallas Mavericks: Shark Tank
Since drafting Dirk Nowitzki in 1998, the Dallas Mavericks have been one of the most consistent organizations in the world of professional sports. The Mavericks’ best option for a corporate logo, however, is not affiliated with the German superstar.
Instead, it’s a partnership with, “Shark Tank,” which is the show that owner Mark Cuban is one of the primary stars of.
This logo idea isn’t to simply put the logo for Shark Tank on the jerseys on a full-time basis. Instead, this is the type of idea that would not only benefit Cuban and the show, but the companies that come onto it with a unique twist and opportunity.
In this scenario, one company per episode of Shark Tank will be selected to have their logo placed on the Mavericks’ jersey for a game.
For those unfamiliar with the show, a panel of billionaires invest in grassroots products. To give those companies the exposure of being featured on the Mavericks’ jerseys would be a grand opportunity, and it would be equally beneficial to the show.
This is the type of corporate logo that would be easy to support and see.
Next: Denver Nuggets
Denver Nuggets: Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked Ice Cream
The Denver Nuggets have been an NBA team since 1976. Before their arrival in the NBA, Denver was one of the original franchises of the ABA, which gives it a rich and fruitful basketball history.
Colorado’s legalization of medical marijuana has simply become too much of a hot topic to ignore.
There were a number of companies that could’ve been listed here, including local dispensaries and other blatantly obvious answers. A more subtle route can be taken without polarizing the vast community of people who don’t participate in such activities.
Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked Ice Cream appeals to both communities.
With both traditional ice cream and frozen yogurt versions being sold in pint sizes, there’s fun for everyone—who isn’t lactose intolerant. Half Baked alludes to one of the funnier movies Dave Chappelle has done, and it packs in food favorites such as brownies, cookie dough, and chocolate ice cream.
Let’s just leave it at that.
Next: Detroit Pistons
Detroit Pistons: M&M’S
The Detroit Pistons call The Motor City home. Thus, it stands to reason that an American car company—the vast options include Chevrolet, Chrysler, and Ford—would be the most rational of corporate choices for the Pistons to place on their jerseys.
M&M’S is a much more appealing option to place on the jerseys.
Get it? No? Here’s an NSFW explanation:
Eminem is from Detroit, and his name is similar to… You get it.
Placing an American car company on the uniforms would be appealing due to the fact that it’d provide a promotional opportunity for the domestic motor vehicle industry. That cannot be disputed as a valid reason to place it on the jerseys of Michigan’s lone NBA team.
I just so happen to think I’m funny and creative, so M&M’S is the choice.
Whether or not you enjoy his music, Eminem is one of the most transcendent artists in music history. More applicably, he’s one of the most iconic musicians to come out of Detroit, which makes an allusion to his success an appropriate gesture.
If all else fails, just offer me a sympathy laugh on the M&M’S idea.
Next: Golden State Warriors
Golden State Warriors: Brita
To the vast legion of people who hate it when people say a shot was, “Wet,” I apologize. The reality is, there’s no better corporate logo for the Golden State Warriors than a company that’s already associated with the franchise player.
By placing Brita, a company that specializes in water filtration products, on the Warriors’ jerseys, the team would be setting up an opportunity for ideal exposure for all involved parties.
The Warriors are a product of the minds of Silicon Valley, and that creates an abundance of corporate logo options. Golden State’s corporate sponsor of Brita fits the identity of the team, however, in a myriad of ways.
The biggest reason is the obvious one: Curry, the face of the franchise, is endorsed by Brita—something the company was very proud to announce.
Beyond Curry’s direct ties to Brita is the fact that he and Klay Thompson are known as The Splash Brothers. That’s a direct reference to water and wetness, which—all right, I’ll stop; you get it.
Golden State has a seemingly endless supply of options here, but Brita makes the most sense.
Next: Houston Rockets
Houston Rockets: DreamWorks Studios
There’s very little question about who the best player in Houston Rockets history is. There have been a number of spectacular talents, but the general consensus across the NBA is that Hakeem Olajuwon is the franchise’s greatest of all-time.
What corporate logo better fits Olajuwon’s contributions to the Rockets than DreamWorks Studios?
DreamWorks Studios is responsible for supremely successful films including Antz, Shrek, Kung Fu Panda, and Chicken Run, amongst countless others. Olajuwon, meanwhile, was nicknamed, “The Dream,” during his playing career
When it comes to Rockets basketball, there’s no player more worthy of being honored than Olajuwon.
Olajuwon led Houston to back-to-back championships in 1993-94 and 1994-95—the only two titles the Rockets have ever won. Olajuwon also won league MVP, two Defensive Player of the Year awards, and took home Finals MVP honors during both of the Rockets’ runs to the title.
Honoring The Dream with DreamWorks Studios corporate sponsor would work wonderfully.
Next: Indiana Pacers
Indiana Pacers: ABA
The Indiana Pacers have been one of the most consistent organizations in the NBA. There was more than a decade of struggles after arriving in 1976, but since 1989, Indiana has made the playoffs in 21 out of 27 seasons.
Perhaps the inclusion of the ABA logo could bring the Pacers back to being more than just a postseason team.
No team won more ABA championships than the Indiana Pacers’ thre. No team made more ABA Finals appearances than Indiana’s five, either, which creates the very fair belief that Indiana was the greatest team in the history of the league.
With ads being added to the jerseys in 2017-18, there’s no better time to put the ABA patch on the Pacers’ jerseys.
The ABA’s inaugural season was in 1967-68, which was 50 years before the 2017-18 season. In other words, in 2017-18, the greatest team in ABA history could honor the 50-year anniversary of the league.
The harsh reality is, a defunct league wouldn’t generate any profit for Indiana or the NBA without some type of WWE Network type of rollout with ABA games available.
It was worth a try.
Next: Los Angeles Clippers
Los Angeles Clippers: Apple
I know what you’re thinking; “But Maxwell, Steve Ballmer was CEO of Microsoft!” Yes, yes he was—until he was essentially forced to step down from his position due to the failure of the Microsoft Surface.
It’s time to get petty and put Apple on those Los Angeles Clippers jerseys.
I’m sure Ballmer and Microsoft have a better relationship than I’m painting them to. Changes at the top of the corporate structure occur with some measure of regularity, and Ballmer seems like the type of positively spirited human being who doesn’t hold grudges.
Nevertheless, this would be quite the five-finger slap to the face.
I’m sure a boating company will look to get in on the action, but this one writes itself. Technology powerhouse loses his position at a company, becomes the owner of another profitable company, and then gets back at those who did him wrong.
No, this isn’t the life and times of Steve Jobs; it’s just a man’s petty ramblings.
Next: Los Angeles Lakers
Los Angeles Lakers: Kobe System
One of the most bizarre and unnecessary stories in recent sports history revolves around Nick Young, Iggy Azalea, D’Angelo Russell, and Snapchat. It revolved around Russell being recorded while recording Young admitting to adulterous affairs.
Thus, it stands to reason that the Lakers should embrace the maniacal turn the 2015-16 season took and slap that Snapchat logo onto the purple and gold.
If that rubs you the wrong way, it’s likely because the Lakers are one of the most storied and recognizable organizations in the vast world or professional sports. That luster cannot be lost, nor should such an outcome be predicted with such a small sample size to prove as much.
The Lakers have missed the playoffs just five times since making it in 1977, which makes it hard to associate something silly like Snapchat with this storied organization.
If you don’t appreciate the Snapchat route, the Lakers should help fuel Kobe Bryant becoming a post-playing-career star like Michael Jordan. “The Kobe System” may never—ever—reach the same level as Air Jordan, but it’s a nice logo with some quality products.
“The Kobe System” is already under the Nike umbrella, so this makes sense. You know, if not Snapchat.
Next: Memphis Grizzlies
Memphis Grizzlies: B.B. King’s Blues Club
In 1946, the history of music was forever altered when a young and unknown B.B. King moved to Memphis, Tennessee. King achieved his first measure of mainstream success in the city of Memphis, and created an iconic venue years later.
If any corporate logo would fit the Grizzlies, it’d be that of B.B. King’s Blues Club.
B.B. King’s Blues Club has a number of locations across the country, but the original was founded in Memphis, Tennessee. With another located in Nashville, Tennessee, the Grizzlies are the perfect team to pay homage to the legendary musician.
Truthfully, there’s no better company to promote than this iconic venue.
B.B. King’s Blues Club now has locations in multiple states and cities, which makes it an easier corporate logo to justify than a local venue would be. The name is synonymous with musical greatness, and the blues club is synonymous with Memphis.
The perfect logo would be one that honors the late great King and the establishment he founded in Memphis.
Next: Miami Heat
Miami Heat: DC Comics
The Miami Heat were a tough team to peg due to the seemingly limitless number of options available from a corporate perspective. Local businesses and global corporations have a fair say, but the final decision is DC Comics.
This may seem like a random selection, but the recent history of the Heat makes them a perfect match with DC Comics.
Dwyane Wade, the face of the franchise, has long been known as Flash—the same name as a beloved DC character. Shaquille O’Neal, who helped the Heat win a championship in 2006, was known as Superman—another beloved DC character.
If that combination of superheroes weren’t enough, Miami played home to the infamous Big Three team-up featuring Chris Bosh, LeBron James, and Wade.
Throw in Ray Allen and Miami essentially built their own version of either the Super Friends or the Justice League. One could even say that the Heat built their very own Suicide Squad with a cast of villains fighting for a good cause: a championship.
Regardless of how you view what the Heat did in the mid-to-late 2000s, it’s clear they built a DC Comics type of team.
Next: Milwaukee Bucks
Milwaukee Bucks: Miller Brewing Company
Chances are, the NBA will refrain from allowing teams to publicly promote an alcoholic beverage. Milwaukee plays home to a number of major breweries, however, and that cannot be overlooked when evaluating the options for corporate sponsorship.
It’s also worth noting that, according to MillerCoors.com, the company already sponsors the NBA.
Miller Brewing Company is responsible for a substantial number of particularly popular beers. Miller Lite, Miller High Life, Miller Genuine Draft, and Miller 64 are all found in establishments across the country, and Milwaukee’s Best has saved many a college party.
Based out of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, it’s not hard to make the connection between the Bucks and the brewing company.
BMO Harris Bank, which has its name at the front of the BMO Harris Bradley Center, is an obvious option. The ties of Miller Brewing Company to the Milwaukee area, however, could make this selection one with positive ramifications on the local job market.
Any time a team has a chance to promote a local business, no matter how big or small, the possibility should be explored.
Next: Minnesota Timberwolves
Minnesota Timberwolves: Paisley Park
Arguably the most iconic celebrity to emerge from the state of Minnesota is late music pioneer Prince. The man who gave us musical diamonds such as, “Purple Rain,” “When Doves Cry,” and, “Kiss,” was born in Minneapolis, and continued to call the state of Minnesota home.
Tragically, Prince passed away at his home in Chanhassen, Minnesota on April 21, 2016.
Statement from Timberwolves and Lynx owner Glen Taylor on the passing of Prince pic.twitter.com/7KhTDOBK0m
— Timberwolves PR (@Twolves_PR) April 21, 2016
As a necessary tribute to Prince, Minnesota should use Paisley Park as the corporate advertisement on the team’s jerseys.
For those unfamiliar, “Paisley Park” was a song released by Prince in 1985. More applicably, it’s the name of his record label, Paisley Park Records, and his recording complex, Paisley Park Studios.
The logo itself is simple, beautiful, and easy to fit onto the jersey. Whether it’s a purple patch or something with color coordination, it’d be easy to implement the change.
Considering Prince was a huge basketball fan and a former player himself, this would be a great and fitting gesture.
Next: New Orleans Pelicans
New Orleans Pelicans: Smoothie King
At some point in time, one has to believe that the business with its name on the arena will want to appear on the jersey. It’s the most surprising of venue names in the NBA, but only to those who live outside of the New Orleans area.
Smoothie King is one of the biggest and most profitable businesses in all of New Orleans.
The Pelicans’ venue is named the Smoothie King Center, which creates the easy and obvious in. Rather than going against the grain, New Orleans should embrace the fact they’ve already committed to promoting a business that was founded in the state of Louisiana.
Supporting local businesses is always commendable, and this qualifies as one of those instances.
Unfortunately, there are no corporate logos for Bourbon Street, The French Quarter, Mardi Gras or, “Change the name back to Jazz.” There are a number of wonderful businesses located across New Orleans, but Smoothie King is at the front of the venue’s name already.
Thus, local giant Smoothie King is the pick.
Next: New York Knicks
New York Knicks: Cablevision
The obvious selection here is Cablevision. For those unfamiliar, the cable television company is owned by James Dolan, who also owns the New York Knicks—a borderline guarantee that we’ll be seeing a Cablevision logo on New York’s jerseys in the near future.
One simply can’t help but revisit the infamous and puzzling, “Honey Nut Cheerios,” debacle.
As an avid Honey Nut Cheerios eater, my cholesterol should be getting to a solid and healthy level. More importantly, I can’t help but wonder what it was that possessed Kevin Garnett to tell Carmelo Anthony that his wife tastes like a delicious breakfast cereal.
Many feel that Garnett crossed a line, and I’m of that party, but I still can’t help but have questions that need answering.
For instance, why did Garnett choose Honey Nut Cheerios instead of Frosted Flakes or Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Why was it a breakfast food that he thought of in the first place?
And most importantly, why in the world would someone target another man’s wife when trash talking?
Next: Oklahoma City Thunder
Oklahoma City Thunder: Sonic
Too soon?
The Oklahoma City Thunder have become one of the most popular teams in the NBA. Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook are global superstars—Mark Cuban was just playing mind games, folks—and Serge Ibaka has made three All-Defensive First Team appearances.
The reality is, the Thunder are less than a decade removed from being the Seattle SuperSonics.
Seattle’s fanbase was as passionate and supportive as any across the NBA. The move to Oklahoma City has worked out for the new local supporters, as the Chesapeake Energy Arena is one of the wildest and loudest one can find across the Association.
One simply can’t help but reminisce about the years the team spent in Seattle.
Thus, it’s only fair for the Thunder to acknowledge their roots and make Sonic their corporate advertisement. All right, that’s clearly not the best way to honor the SuperSonics’ memory, but it would be quite the hilarious turn of events.
You know, for everyone outside of Seattle. Sorry.
Next: Orlando Magic
Orlando Magic: Disney World
Apologies to all other options, but Disney World has this market cornered and monopolized. It’s, arguably, the biggest attraction in Orlando, and has very obvious ties to a team with the nickname, “Magic.”.
Beyond the name, playing for the Magic is very much like visiting Disney World; you come to Orlando and then leave to live somewhere else.
I apologize for how harsh that is, but the Magic have an uncanny ability to draft or acquire outstanding players, and then lose them. It’s happened with Dwight Howard, Tracy McGrady, and Shaquille O’Neal—three players who, at some point during their Orlando tenures, were All-NBA selections.
Is it truly coincidental that Disney World is a short-term destination, as well?
The Magic lack star power in the present day, but the current roster has immemse potential. The likes of Evan Fournier, Aaron Gordon, Victor Oladipo, Elfrid Payton, and Nikola Vucevic are all immensely talented, and the same can be said for 2015-16 rookie Mario Hezonja.
One can only hope they stay longer than the families who visit Disney World and the players who have called Orlando home in the past.
Next: Philadelphia 76ers
Philadelphia 76ers: Lowe’s
The Philadelphia 76ers have a glorious history with a long list of legendary players gracing their team-specific record books. Unfortunately, the Sixers have been the laughing stock of the NBA over the past three seasons.
Just as the Lowe’s slogan says: the 76ers never stop rebuilding—err, improving.
The 76ers are the organization that played home to some of the greatest players in NBA history. That list of icons includes Wilt Chamberlain, Billy Cunningham, Julius Erving, Hal Greer, Allen Iverson, Moses Malone, and Dolph Schayes.
In recent years, however, the 76ers have been stuck in a seemingly endless rebuild.
Philadelphia went 19-63 in 2013-14, 18-64 in 2014-15, and hit a new low at 10-72 in 2015-16. That’s three straight years of futile basketball, with the record progressively getting worse and the roster being rounded out by D-League alumni and multiple draft picks who were injured at the time of their selection.
Perhaps the rebuilding will evolve into improvement with the implementation of the Lowe’s logo.
Next: Phoenix Suns
Phoenix Suns: Blue Cross Blue Shield
The Phoenix Suns have long been praised for having one of the premier medical staffs in the world of professional sports. That hasn’t necessarily changed, but the Suns have become one of the most injury-ravaged teams in the NBA.
In 2015-16 alone, five featured players were severely injured at some point during the season.
Both Eric Bledsoe and Brandon Knight, the starting guards, missed 30-plus games due to injuries that proved to be season-ending. T.J. Warren suffered a season-ending injury, as well, missing 35 of a possible 82 games.
Throw in Tyson Chandler and Jon Leuer, who both missed 15-plus games, and Phoenix clearly needed medical aid.
It’ll be interesting to see what direction the Suns move towards this coming summer. Bledsoe and Knight are borderline stars, but both Devin Booker and Archie Goodwin excelled in their absence.
Regardless of what Phoenix does in free agency, the recent rush of injuries suggest this team is in dire need of medical salvation.
Next: Portland Trail Blazers
Portland Trail Blazers: Vulcan Inc.
Microsoft was an option, but it’s a second realistic option that best fits the Portland Trail Blazers. It’s not because of a comedic link or a company that matches the structure of the organization, but instead a very obvious tie.
Vulcan Inc. is a company that was founded by Paul Allen—the same man who owns the Trail Blazers.
Allen founded Microsoft with Bill Gates, but that isn’t the company to fit the Trail Blazers. Allen also founded Vulcan Inc., for which he is still the chairman and CEO, which is why Portland should proudly wear its logo on its jerseys.
For those unfamiliar, Vulcan Inc. is a company that operates in the philanthropic interests of Allen.
There are a number of companies that Vulcan Inc. has invested in, including the preservation of wildlife. There are multiple other areas of practice, including science and technology, space, museums, media, and entertainment.
Adding a philanthropic company owned by the man who owns the team would be a fitting course of action.
Next: Sacramento Kings
Sacramento Kings: Microsoft
The Los Angeles Clippers could have used Microsoft as a corporate sponsor, but they’re the petty choice to choose Apple. Thus, the Sacramento Kings are gifted the opportunity to place a corporate logo on their jerseys that matches the story of the organization.
Yes, Microsoft has the Xbox One—for the Kings, that’s DeMarcus Cousins—but why can’t it create enough complementary products to catch up to Apple—for the Kings, the rest of the Western Conference?
According to Yahoo! Finance, Apple’s stock was listed at $104.35 per share as of April 26 at 4:00 p.m. ET. By comparison, Microsoft checks in at a distant $51.44 per share as of that same date—less than half of Apple’s stock.
The same story can be told about the current state of the Kings.
Cousins is a genuine star whose production—26.9 points, 11.5 rebounds, 3.3 assists, 1.6 steals, and 1.4 blocks—ranks amongst the best in the NBA. Yet, despite his tremendous individual play, Sacramento hasn’t made the playoffs since 2006.
Both Microsoft and the Kings need something to better complement their cash cow.
Next: San Antonio Spurs
San Antonio Spurs: AARP
Yes, I know San Antonio Spurs fans; the team really isn’t that old. Sure, Andre Miller is 40, Tim Duncan is 39, Manu Ginobili is 38, Matt Bonner is 36, David West is 35, Boris Diaw is 34, and Kevin Martin and Tony Parker are 33, but really, this team isn’t that old.
Yes, co-franchise player LaMarcus Aldridge will turn 31 in July, but you know what they say: 31 is the new 21!
In all seriousness, the Spurs have an uncanny ability to look father time dead in the eyes and win the proverbial staring contest. It makes no sense that a team with five players at age 35 and older, including three critical assets who qualify as such, is this good.
It makes even less sense when you consider the fact that Diaw, 34, and Parker, 33, are two of the most important contributors on the team, as well.
In all, five of the Spurs’ nine leaders in minutes per game are 33 or older. Aldridge, soon to be 31, and Kawhi Leonard, a baby at 24 years of age, are the exceptions to the rule as the franchise centerpieces with varying measures of youth on their side.
With all due respect, there’s no company better suited for the Spurs defying the odds of aging than AARP.
Next: Toronto Raptors
Toronto Raptors: OVO
Love him or hate him, global superstar hip hop artist Drake has been undeniably influential on the growth of the Toronto Raptors as a brand. He’s been officially named an ambassador for the organization, and has heavily influenced their change in appearance.
Why not complete the process and place OVO on the Raptors’ jerseys?
For those unfamiliar, OVO stands for October’s Very Own—the name of the record label that Drake founded in 2012. OVO Sound includes artists such as PartyNextDoor, Majid Jordan, and dvsn, as well as producers 40 and Boi-1da—all of whom have achieved success on a mainstream level.
Every one of those artists and producers are based out of the province of Ontario, Canada—same as the Raptors.
Toronto has already gone a long way towards honoring Drake by adopting black, white, and gold alternate uniforms. Throwing the OVO corporate logo onto the Raptors’ jerseys would not only fit the alternative color scheme, but fit the home and away jerseys.
If it’s not to honor Drake individually, then it’s to respect the fact that a number of Ontario-based artists have emerged to help put the city on the musical map.
Next: Utah Jazz
Utah Jazz: Pampers
The Utah Jazz have one of the greatest home court advantages in the world of professional sports, let alone the NBA. The home crowd is furiously passionate, which is an obvious enough reason to heap praise onto the organization.
As the babies of the NBA, however, it’s only right for the Jazz to be sponsored by Pampers.
In 2015-16, Utah’s roster had an average age of 24.1 years old, which tied the Milwaukee Bucks for the youngest in the NBA. Gordon Hayward and Shelvin Mack, 26, were the oldest members of the starting lineup, which also featured 23-year-olds Rudy Gobert and Rodney Hood, and 24-year-old Gordon Hayward.
Utah’s roster also consists of a 20-year-old Dante Exum, 23-year-old Trey Burke, and a 20-year-old Trey Lyles.
The Jazz have been an NBA organization since 1974-75. The organization was first situated in New Orleans, hence the nickname, “Jazz,” and it’s been wonderfully successful since moving to Utah in 1979, with two NBA Finals appearances.
The youngest team in the NBA is well on its way to returning to glory.
Next: Washington Wizards
Washington Wizards: Verizon
The Washington Wizards are building their organization around tantalizing point guard John Wall. There’s no telling which free agents new head coach Scott Brooks will be able to attract—we’re looking at you, Kevin Durant—but it’s very clear that Wall is the current franchise player.
In an attempt to be morally decent and not acknowledge the obvious, we go with Verizon—the name on the arena.
Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton jokes say that the non-profit NRA should be the corporate logo on the Wizards’ uniforms. It’s also worth noting that Washington’s team name was once the, “Washington Bullets,” which is another reason to go the gun route.
Chances are, Washington—and the NBA as a whole—will be looking to put that incident behind it.
Thus, the team that calls The Verizon Center home goes with the corporation that’s on the front of the arena. Verizon is a powerful company already, and placing the advertisement on the jersey would be easier to stomach due to the fact that it’s already associated with the team.
Plus, there’s no way the NBA condones a gun-related advertisement.
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The only rational hope for the Wizards is that the corporate logo utilized will provide Wall with the necessary support to return Washington to relevance.